New York City Pizza Wars: Woke Is Coming For Your Pizza and These

Written By BlabberBuzz | Tuesday, 27 June 2023 08:35 AM
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Elon Musk, the billionaire CEO of Tesla, has led the charge against New York City’s recent crackdown on coal-and-wood-fired pizzerias in the name of climate change.

The city’s Department of Environmental Protection has drafted new rules requiring eateries with such ovens installed prior to May 2016 to purchase expensive emission-control devices, which could reduce carbon emissions and particulates by up to 75%.

The new regulations comply with Local 38 of 2015, which was approved by former Mayor Bill de Blasio, who was widely mocked after being pictured eating a slice of pizza with a fork and knife.

Musk took to Twitter to voice his opposition to the new rules, stating that “This is utter bs. It won’t make a difference to climate change.” He was not alone in his criticism, with some politicians also expressing their dismay. City Council Republican Minority Leader Joe Borelli tweeted, “We will save the planet by putting 9 or 10 fantastic #NYC pizzerias out of business! Gunna really change things you guys!”

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Democrat-turned-Republican Brooklyn Councilman Ari Kagan urged city officials to leave his beloved Totonno’s crust coal oven pizzeria in Coney Island alone, stating that “Socialist Democrats believe Totonno’s pizza in Coney Island is a bigger threat to public safety than their defund NYPD and pro-criminal policies. We will stop them and this insanity.”

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Nassau County Executive Bruce Blakeman has also weighed in on the issue, urging diners to visit his Long Island pizzerias, noting that his government is not imposing pollution rules on them. “You don’t mess with a New Yorker’s pizza or bagels. Period,” Blakeman said in a statement. “Here in Nassau your local pizza place will continue to be able to make your pie the same way they have been for decades. We have some of the best pizza in the world, and it’s going to stay that way!”

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Several iconic pizza joints are facing the heat, including Lombardi’s in Little Italy, Arturo’s in Soho, John’s of Bleecker Street in Greenwich Village, Patsy’s in Turtle Bay and the Upper West Side, Paulie Gee’s in Greenpoint, and Grimaldi’s near the Brooklyn Bridge, all of which pride themselves on having their pies baked in coal-and-wood-fired ovens.

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Meanwhile, conservative shock artist Scott LoBaido has announced that he will be holding a symbolic protest, the New York Pizza Party, which he likens to the Boston Tea Party, by the Brooklyn Bridge. “The Boston tea party, they tossed tea. Today will be the New York Pizza Party. I’ll be tossin Slices!” LoBaido said. “The woke-ass idiots who run this city are doing everything in their power to destroy it.”

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