The segment opened with Kenan Thompson, portraying the father of a Columbia student, expressing admiration for young activists' courage to stand for their beliefs.
Thompson's character, during a faux interview, initially lauded the students' activism. However, when questioned about his own daughter's involvement, he firmly stated, "she better have her butt in class." He further expressed his disapproval of his daughter's potential participation in the protests, saying, "Let me find out she is in one of those damn tents, instead of the dorm room that I pay for."
Challenged on his seemingly contradictory stance, Thompson clarified, "I am in favor of y'alls kids protesting. My kids know better." When asked about his opinion on the group of protesters who occupied Hamilton Hall, a Columbia University building, he responded, "that's good for y'alls kids, but they ain't mine."
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Thompson's character also criticized Columbia University for its hefty tuition fees, which amount to $68,000 per year. "I’m out here busting my hump to pay all that tuition," he lamented. He detailed his various jobs, including driving for Uber, delivering for Uber Eats, mowing lawns, selling Gucci wallets, and bounty hunting, all to finance his daughter's education in African American studies.
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Thompson further expressed his determination to ensure his daughter's graduation ceremony takes place, despite several universities considering canceling their ceremonies due to the anti-Israel protests. "You can take that to the bank. This girl started her college during COVID," he declared, referring to his daughter's remote learning experience during the pandemic.
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The segment concluded with a report that police had cleared Columbia's Hamilton Hall following its occupation by protesters. The campus encampment was also cleared, leaving only the protesters' tents behind. This satirical portrayal comes amidst a wave of student protests against the Israel-Hamas conflict, with students demanding their universities divest from companies associated with Israel.
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